Thursday, November 14, 2013

Tired of Time

I'm kind of tired writing about time.  The prompt yesterday was about time and the prompt today asks if I'm a morning person or a night owl.

I am both. I hit the ground running almost every morning and I'm super productive in the late night hours.  I am just a really sucky middle of the day person.

But I talked about that yesterday so feel free to go back and read that post.

I'm kind of in my own mental vortex right now.  As you might know if you've been following along, I love my mom.  She is awesome, she is strong and I've said on more than one occasion that I want to be just like her.  To do all the cool things she does.  And she also terrifies me.  Not in, I guess, a truly fearful sort of way.  It's sort of hard to explain.  You know how no one can get to you like your mom can?  It's not even like my mom says anything mean or harsh.  I guess I'm just sort of high strung maybe?

All I know is that I can face the whole world and while they challenge me I can hit back with full force and they will never see me cry.  But I can talk to my mom for less than 5 minutes and start crying.

Anyone else know what I'm talking about here?

ITS SUPER FRUSTRATING!!!  Because I hate crying.  I don't know if I just save it all up for her or what but that's just how it goes.  I call my mom, we talk, I cry, life goes on.

Anyways I had a big conversation with her today that ultimately turned out to be about my long term planning skills (or lack thereof).  I'd really like to tell you more, but I'm still wrestling with this and my brain is all muddled and I hesitate to write until I've had more time to get a grip on my thoughts.

The point is that I talked to my mom, I cried, she had lots of solid things to say and now I have to move forward from here.  Part of why I started writing this blog was so you could come on this adventure with me.  So as I am ready to write about these things, you'll be the first to know.

For now I leave you with this thought:

If you have a mom to talk to, you should talk to her.  If you have someone that fills that spot, talk to them.  I make up all these reasons in my head all the time about why I should or shouldn't talk to my mom.  Usually if I choose to not talk to her it's because I don't want to disappoint her.  But after today's conversation, I'm finally starting to believe her when she says she just wants me to be open with her.  And I'm trying.  


  1. Very much envy and admire your relationship with your mom. Tears may suck, but they wipe our eyes clean and help us see better sometimes, I think. Sounds like your mom is pretty solid! Keep trying, bet she'll keep being there, too, tears and all!

    1. Yeah she's pretty awesome. It's taken me a long time to realize just how awesome she is, but I'm getting there. That's why I call and talk to her almost every day because I realize that eventually one day will come when she won't be there anymore and that is most awful thing I can think of.